The other day I stumbled upon an acquaintance’s strongly worded opinion on the etiquette of tipping accompanied by a screenshot of a snapchat from a disguntled waitress.
Backstory: 1) the waitress in question was disgusted over being left an 8% tip. The bill was around $185 and they left about a $15 tip… in short if you paid attention they rounded out the bill to an even $200.
2) the acquaintance in question was disgusted that we should be tipping servers in general and that the waitress was ungrateful of the tip left to begin with. And voiced that nobody just hands him money & that the waitress should find a better job & that at the end of the day he rarely ever tips…
Now I try really hard to avoid posts like this because usually my opinion is the minority. But this just really bothered me, especially when so many others were commenting the same thing. They all had various things in common but we won’t go there… So I did what any outspoken person does. I commented.
In short, I agreed that while yes restaurants should pay better wages, you’re also paying for a service. I even acknowledged that I too was once in the “don’t ever tip” club but have since changed my views and now consider myself a great tipper. Sometimes too great but we won’t go there either. I tried to negotiate that if you don’t want to tip don’t go to a sit down restaurant– easy solution in my eyes. Didn’t settle well with the other commenters. I ended with it may be the only job that person could get and it wasn’t as easy as them finding a better job; and that honestly it was to each his own whether they tip…
In return: I got a ton of “my money isn’t just handed to me” nonsense. Followed by “you must have privilege if you tip everyone” blah blah blahs. There were even a few “she better be lucky she got a tip at all, that’s another meal right there!”
And only TWO other commenters out of maybe 100 or so said things similar to me.
Commenter A “If you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out at a nice restaurant. That food isn’t going to magically appear on the table itself. That drink isn’t going to refill when it’s empty. You’re paying for a service. Don’t be that a-hole who doesn’t tip.”
But commenter B really had me ‘liking’ her response. “Yall are all ready to tip a girl shaking her a** in your face but when she’s fully clothed and bringing you food suddenly your money isn’t just handed to you. Tipping is a joke. And whatever else excuse yall come up with….” She went on to agree that the wages should be higher and servers shouldn’t have to depend on their customers, but they do. And then she too went on to say that you’re paying for a service when you go to a sit down restaurant. And in short if you don’t tip you’re kind of dick.
Her words not mine…
So after all this… I got to thinking. Why is tipping such a big deal? Like I said I was once part of the “don’t ever tip” club and it’s sister club “if I did tip it was horrible”. I was young. And dumb. And honestly didn’t understand how it all worked. Then I got older, and something just inside me clicked like “hey you need to tip them”.
Do I think that servers should have a higher wage? Definitely.
Do I wonder why it’s not being fought for like fast food workers asking for $15/hour despite being able to put the cheese entirely on my burger? Absolutely.
Is my money just handed to me? Boy don’t I wish.
Does that mean I’m going to be petty and not tip someone? No. Struggle recognizes struggle. You don’t know that person’s story. It could be the only job they could get or it may be their 2nd or 3rd while they’re in school or a single parent. I personally see going to a sit down restaurant as a service. So I’m going to tip everytime I go, because like commenter A proudly exclaimed. If you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out.
Which is especially true if you’re racking up an expensive tab, so you’re telling me you can spend $100 or more on food or drinks but can’t splurge an extra $10/15 on a tip for the person bringing you everything?
But hey… that’s just my two cents. Take it with a grain of salt. To each his own. Now that said, can we talk about the double standard of tipping people other than servers. Say your hairstylist or the valet. Why is that not an issue?
I think I will ask that on the original post and see what responses I get… probably more or less of the same but it’s worth a try right?