In less than 12 hours I will be handed the keys to my new apartment. And I swear I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. In a way, it kind of is– especially since I’ve been doing a bit of indulging, buying things for this apartment. But don’t mistaken the warm, bubbly feelings as me being completely a-okay with everything.
For the record. I’m not. It still sucks. But I decided to try to remain on to the bright side of it all. I’m still very much nervous about being a single mom and living alone. I mean have you been reading the news lately? The level of crazy is through the roof nowadays. But I take the fact that (knock on wood) my level of anxiety is fairly calm, cool, and collected compared to the last few times I almost moved, as a good sign!
And naturally I got sick the weekend before I move. No voice is just an added perk I woke up with this morning. How am I supposed to scream with joy when I unlock the door with no voice? I guess silent jumps of joy will have to do. Nevertheless I didn’t let it hinder me too much as I still managed to load the car up with ALMOST everything. Seriously my tetris packing skills are AMAZING. If it was an Olympic sport I’d take the Gold everytime. I am determined to be sleeping in there by the weekend!
I hate moving, just like most people. So I try to get it over with AS QUICKLY AS I CAN.
My excitement did wane a bit when it was bedtime. As enjoyable as sleeping completely by myself sounds, I’ve grown quite used to co-sleeping. Soon I’ll only have naptime snuggles with my munchkin. And every other weekend. Luckily she’s agreed to let me keep a few of her stuffed animals at our new home… better believe every night she’s not there I’m going to be snuggled up with them. Probably crying if I’m honest.
Which also makes me sad thinking about her at bedtime without me during the week. For instance since she hasn’t been feeling good lately she’s been asking me to rock her to sleep like a baby. She climbs into my lap and wraps around me and everything. She only asks me to do this…
Its little things like that that make me silently curse R out for putting us in this situation. There are just certain things we each do better for Em, and snuggling is my forte.
BUT as Poppy the Troll said as she made her way to rescue her friends, “I’m not giving up today, nothing’s standing in my way… I will get back up again!”
I will come out stronger after all this. And Em will see that you don’t really need a man to do anything for you. See… I’m really working hard on turning this negative into a positive!