Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. So much has changed in the last year. Heck even in the last few months. As you may remember, tomorrow is also what would have been my 2nd anniversary. Believe me the feelings of sadness are here, reminding me of the failure. Up until a few months ago, I had every intention of doing something romantic for both. Obviously not the case now.
Facebook reminded me today that a year ago, I posted about how I spent the first quarter of my life pleasing everyone else and putting myself second. And how I planned to spend the next quarter century doing for me. Things I love. Learning to love myself and my body as is, especially now that I have Lupus. That statement has never been more true… its time for me to embrace these new beginnings and do for me.
So how am I spending my birthday (and Mother’s day) weekend? Well tomorrow I am taking my mini me to a Princess Tea Party with Cinderella and Belle. Dreams do come true!
I remember several weeks back, R asked me what I wanted to do. And at the time the wounds were still fresh and I was still very much angry, and I told him that I didn’t want to spend my birthday and what would have been our 2nd anniversary with him. He seemed hurt, but at the time I didn’t care.
I was hurting. I wanted him to as well.
However, I had birthday shenanigans earlier in the week with my friends from work. Which was quite the surprise because it seemed like only one was going to be able to join me. They got me good. After a nice classy dinner, I came back home to them waiting for me with balloons, cake, gifts and booze.
No man. No child. I partied like I used to in my younger days (and believe me my body felt like regret the following day). It was a nice break from my day to day routine, and after everything that’s been going on a much needed distraction.
They even made my cake Purple for #Lupus awareness month! And my gifts, most of which were housewarming gifts but hey I’m not complaining, were amazing and I loved them! It was by far the best birthday I’d had in awhile, where it was truly focused on me.
And my friends know me so well they got me a bunch of #Harry Potter stuff! My inner nerd is freaking out. Like do you have a CUSTOM MADE HARRY POTTER WAND!?!
***Now, my Mother’s day festivities are still undetermined. As I am torn between having a relaxing ME day or going out and doing something. I did eventually tell R that I would like to do something for Mother’s day because the day has no ties to our marriage. I did get myself some gifts “from my mini me”. Because no one knows what I like better than me.
Now my friends, near and far, really came through for me. It’s been awhile since I had good friends like this and it’s refreshing. And with all the crazy going on, it’s nice to have such a good support system.
As the hours slowly tick towards my 26th, while I am sadden at the things that didn’t work out, there is a part of me ready to embrace these new beginnings. As I said, I need to start living and doing for me. And perhaps this what had to happen in order for it to take place.