I guess one would say my love language is that of gifts. I like to buy things to show my love. Whether it be a meal while we’re out or a new toy for my munchkin, really gift giving is my thing. I get excited picking out gifts. *Which is why Christmas is my favorite holiday… the ultimate gift giving season!*
That being said… while I enjoy gifts on my birthday, mothers day, valentine’s and Christmas… any other time of year I hate it. I have this weird thing where if someone buys me something, I have to buy them something in return. Of equal or greater value to be honest.
Like for instance my friends that helped furnished my kitchen. While I am grateful for their help, I am also mentally keeping track of how much I need to spend on them at Christmas now. Sure they said it was fine and they were happy to help me during this rough time. And that I am NOT to pay them back… but still. Even though my wallet is saying “Shut up fool and accept the gifts.” My brain is saying “Okay so this person spent this much on you so you need to spend at least this much in return.”
If you watch The Big Bang Theory, there is an episode where Sheldon shares this problem with over what to get Penny.
I wasn’t always like this though. Before I used to be a take take taker. Maybe perhaps it was because I was young and dumb and entitled feeling? Or maybe now that I’m older I understand the value of money? I don’t know… I think the combination of the drinks I had at dinner and the sleepy time bodywash I used before bed are turning my brain to mush…
So let me go ahead and wrap this post up.
Gifts- I love to give them. Depending on the situation I sometimes hate receiving them. But then I also have this weird buyer’s guilt when I buy myself something. It’s especially bad if I ONLY buy myself something and not Em. Afterwards I’m always like “should I take this back?” Even with my goodies from Victoria Secret and Bath and Body Works. And believe me happiness and joy it did bring me buying it.
Don’t mind my child eyeballing what she’s going to get her little sticky hands on. I’m starting her obsession early 😂
When these boxes arrived, I contemplated returning most of it. Even though a good bulk of it IS FOR CHRISTMAS… so like it’s not even all for me and I feel conflicted about buying it. This happens alot. Even if it’s something I need. Perhaps maybe I don’t feel I deserve these gifts???
Spoiler alert… starting to go into my feelings. So let me quickly end this.
At the end of the day… I love the feeling I get buying gifts. Perhaps my inner shopaholic is to blame for that. I’ve always been a spender. But unless it’s for someone else, afterwards I experience buyer’s guilt. Which definitely sucks. So I think the next gift I give myself– will be the gift of accepting gifts and trying to stop having buyer’s guilt.
As I told a friend earlier– My bills are all paid so it’s okay that I splurged a bit on myself. I hadn’t in awhile and I think it was long overdue.
Which as I’m ending this, I’m laughing to myself because earlier I was working on Christmas gift lists (yes in June! Last year I was done by October. I mean gifts wrapped and the tree up November 1st ready. It was a magical feeling.) — I put myself at the top of the list for a change. I guess with broken hearts comes #Treat Yoself in full force. Em came 2nd, and reluctantly R was still 3rd… though his budget this year is a lot less. No sir you don’t get to break my heart and still get a ton of gifts. You’re really only getting anything because Em is too young to have a job to buy her own gifts for people…
How do you feel about gifts and gift giving? Are you like me and have to give one of equal or more value? Or are you like old me and have a bad case of the gimmies? What about buyer’s guilt?