A to Z Challenge: H is for…


Hoarding…

I am certain that I have hoarder-like tendencies. 

I’m not like an extreme hoarder like the ones you see on TV where like literally every single space has something. BUT I do have a problem with throwing stuff away. I am getting better but it’s still a challenge. 

In my teen years I kept every single magazine I purchased. Every. Single. One. Why? I have no idea. But those magazines moved with me several times until I don’t know what happened to them. 

I keep clothes I can no longer fit, in hopes of fitting into them again one day. This was a major problem before I got sick. Then I got frustrated with how I looked like a pregnant whale in everything and just threw out basically everything. And yet I still have trouble finding stuff I feel somewhat comfortable in. Yoga pants and cardigans are my best friends. 

I kept VHS tapes EVEN THOUGH IT’D BEEN AWHILE SINCE I HAD A VCR. 

Movie stubs. Concert/Event tickets. Programs. Yup all of it. 

And now that I’m a mother it’s even harder. It took me nearly a year to pack up Em’s NEWBORN- 3 month old clothes. Then it took me another six months to actually get rid of them. I couldn’t do it. Too much sentimental value. Her toys? Same thing. I find a reason to hold on to certain items. I still have all our bracelets from the hospital. I’m going to make them into Christmas ornaments I keep saying… 

And now that she’s old enough to do artwork… I have a hard time parting with that too. Even if I know she’s likely to make something similar the next day. 

I have gotten better in the last year or so. I’ve purged a lot. Sure I’ve also then replaced that stuff but hey at least I’m purging. I think maybe holding on to a lot of pointless items made me feel like I had something? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a sign of what my future holds and I will end up on that show. 

I am cringing just thinking about it. I don’t think I could ever get that bad. Living with R I developed some slightly OCD cleaning habits. I don’t like not having a place for everything. Which is why a lot of stuff is still in boxes. That seems contradicting. I like to keep things but I don’t like having clutter or not having a place for something. Weird huh? 

Tomorrow is I… and I have no idea what I will write about. I can see I’m going to have to get creative with a word.  

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