Why am I still awake?

I was up at 8am. I had maybe a 40 minute nap. Physically my body is tired and begging to go to bed. But my mind is like a hamster on a wheel. Or worse like the energizer bunny… 

It just keeps going. 

Naturally of course the night before I go back to work. Which means that in less than 5 hours my alarm is going to go off to get pick up Emma before R goes to work. And the way this child has been lately who knows if she’s going to take a nap tomorrow. Today, it’s after midnight. Way after midnight. 

To make it worse, it seems my appetite has returned because I feel like I have a hunger that can’t be satisfied. I lost 6lbs dammit while I was sick. I’m not trying to gain them back so soon, if at all. 

And now I’m starting to feel a headache coming on from lack of sleep, and I’m just like WHYYYYYYYYYYYY? Why is my body doing this to me? Or better why does my body hate me so much? Just give me a break and let me sleep. 

The upside is that it’s Thursday which means I just have to make it two days of work this week. But still. My energy is low as is. I need all the zzzzzzz’s I can get. 

I’ve took a benadryl because benadryl always knocks me out. Nope not tonight. I tried soothing music. Nope. I even tried just laying here. Which is honestly the worse thing ever. I tried reading. I mindlessly pinned on pinterest. And of course I can’t focus on writing anything of value because I’m so tired and when I’m tired I start to ramble and complain and see its happening now. 

Ugh. Is it too late to call my doctor and tell him to ix-nay my return to work date?? At this rate I don’t think I’m going to make it. 

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